31-Day Horror Challenge Day Two: Suspiria

Pretty colors, inspiring music, ballet, and... murder?  Yeah, it sounds like a crazy variety but strangely, it works wonders.  Films like Suspiria are a rare treat in the horror world and you won't see any modern films like this one.  After all, not many films can say they have the most gruesome murder scene in the history of cinema.

Suzy Bannion(Jessica Harper) travels to Germany to further her education as a ballerina.  Things start off rocky but there is seemingly nothing out of ordinary until she begins to research and people begin to disappear.  What happens in the finale will both shock and inspire you.

Some of the dialogue comes across as very odd because the script was written for very young girls but the producers ended up hiring several 20 somethings.  Regardless, Dario Argento knows exactly what he's doing.  The man is up there with the best horror directors and always will be.  For me, the Halloween season isn't the same without a viewing of Suspiria.

____   9/10 Jack O'lanterns

31-Day Horror Challenge Day One: The Brood

David Cronenberg is generally more well known for his work on 1981's The Fly and 1986's Scanners.  Sadly, I seldom hear much more than a simple "it's pretty cool" about The Brood.  I think every horror fan should put this on their list of must see movies.

Set in Canada in the 1970's, The Brood tells the story of Frank, a man trying to uncover secrets about his mentally disturbed wife's unconventional psychotherapist.  Meanwhile, a bunch of crazy mutant children seem to be savagely attacking everyone in Frank's life.  Yeah, I know, it sounds awesome.

Many questions are answered but enough is left unsaid in that Cronenberg style we all know and love.  You will be disturbed and delighted as you watch a very original and horrifying film.  Now, why are you still reading this garbage?  Go watch it!


____ ____   8/10 jack o'lanterns

31-Day Horror Challenge

This Saturday, I will be starting my 31 day horror challenge.  I will watch one(or more) films every day of October and post a review of it on here.  Stay tuned, this is going to be awesome!

A Lot of New Crap

Thor(2011) - 9/10 stars.Perhaps this is a bold claim but Marvel has released its best film to date with Thor.  Spot on performances, fantastic humor and subtle yet powerful script fuel this film to go far.  Hopefully the sequels that follow will be as good and stick to the simplicity of this great picture.

The Hangover Part II(2011) - 3/10 stars.
 Maybe it isn't the worst sequel of all time and there are enough laughs to keep it from being completely painful.  However, The Hangover Part II is one of the most unoriginal films of all time.  It takes the first film and nearly makes a carbon copy of the script.  Even down to certain plot twists and dialogue.  If you really want to see it, you should wait till it's on video.

X-Men: First Class(2011) - 8/10 stars.
After X-Men Origins: Wolverine came out, things looked grim for this series but it's comforting to say that that period is over.  Matthew Vaughn has really come through and hopefully, we will see plenty of films directed by him in the near future. 

Fast Five(2011) - 3/10 stars.
The positive reviews for this film are unbelievable.  While it is entertaining, it's like the heist movie for stupid people.  Entertainment does not mean substance and Fast Five is certainly missing that.  Oh, it's also void of good acting, likeable characters and any real grab. 

Take Me Home Tonight(2011) - 4/10 stars.A likeable cast and a funny premise makes for a good movie, right?  Wrong, it's all about execution.  Take Me Home Tonight seems like it was rushed and that the filmmakers didn't care about their characters.  There are a few laughs but they don't seem to occur often enough.  I would probably see something else if I were you.

Cedar Rapids(2011) - 7/10 stars.
It would be awesome if Ed Helms were in every comedy to ever come out from now on.  Ok, not really, but he is pretty damn hilarious.  Cedar Rapids isn't great but the main four characters carry it out beautifully.  Check it out and see for yourself.

Hall Pass(2011) - 2/10 stars.
Why are The Farrelly Brothers still allowed to make movies?  They haven't been funny for years and it's just becoming sad at this point.  I feel like the actors give it their best shot but the script is just not any good.  Stay far away.

Trollhunter(2010) - 8/10 stars.
Trollhunter is the movie Cloverfield wishes it could have been.  There really isn't much else to say.  This is simply just a badass movie about a man that hunts trolls



The Ward(2010) - 8/10 stars.
It's official, John Carpenter is back and in top form!  The atmosphere in this film is amazingly creepy and the feeling of dread is incredible.  The acting is also something good to mention as you actually will care about the characters.

Super(2010) - 6/10 stars.While Super isn't a bad movie, everything it did, Defendor did better.  I feel like people need to take it easy on the "average joe deciding to be a super hero" thing for a while.  Check it out but see Defendor or Kick-Ass first.

Super 8(2011) - 10/10 stars.The best has officially been saved for last.  Super 8 is a wonderful movie that packs a great story, plenty of action and it gives the viewer that classic ET feel that reminds you you're really watching a great film.  It is definitely 2011's best thus far.

Nicolas Cage, Stuart Gordon, Crazy Rednecks, Skeletons and Stalkers!

Con Air(1997) - 3/10 stars.

In middle school, Con Air was all the rage.  Big, tough guys with tattoos, ridiculous explosions and Nicolas Cage!  That being said, you can probably figure out why it isn't so good once we've actually grown up.  It's so absurd that it makes 2012 look like a realistic film.  We sure were stupid as kids!

Dolls(1987) - 2/10 stars.

One would, at least under normal circumstances, expect much better from director Stuart Gordon.  Let's be frank, that man was responsible for From Beyond and Re-animator.  However, this one will probably leave you out in the cold.  The special effects are pretty impressive but the story, acting and any real sense of fear or humor are all missing from the equation.  The only recommendation I can offer for seeing this one, is if you would like to see Gordon's sloppy side.

  Castle Freak(1995) - 6/10 stars.

Though it isn't half as bad as Dolls, This picture is still going to be a letdown for the majority of Stuart Gordon fans out there.  Usually he is fantastic at adapting H.P. Lovecraft's work but it feels mediocre here.  While Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton always have good chemistry on screen, they failed at making this a great picture.

Burn, Witch, Burn(1962) - 8/10 stars.

This extremely creepy piece from the 60's is, sadly, very seldom known by anyone.  If it had the proper recognition, it would rest on the shelf with other horror classic such as Horror Hotel, The Wicker Man, and The Last Man on Earth.  Give it a shot!

 The Lost Skeleton Returns Again(2009) - 8/10 stars.

The Wonderful folks that brought us The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra created a sequel to their original masterpiece.  It's not quite as good as the first film but it's still hilarious and insane.  If you are a fan of classic Sci-Fi cinema, you should definitely take a look.

 Cape Fear(1962) - 9/10 stars.

Gregory Peck stars in this classic thriller about a man that stalks the lawyer who put him in prison and his family.  The tone is very creepy and skillfully crafted throughout.  Any fan of classic cinema will have plenty to admire here.

 Cape Fear(1991) - 9/10 stars.

While there are a couple films - The Thing, The Hills Have Eyes, The Omega Man, etc., it is still rare that a remake matches it's predecessor.  With Martin Scorsese's Cape Fear, this rings true.  It's just as creepy, just as thrilling and just as well acted.  I recommend watching both films in one night for comparison purposes.

  Tucker & Dale VS. Evil(2010) - 7/10 stars.

I've wanted to catch this flick since last year when Dread Central wouldn't shut up about it.  I'm actually glad I finally got to see it.  The horror cliches definitely aren't scarce here, but there's enough comedy and likable characters to keep you entertained the whole way.  It's certainly an interesting take on the hixploitation genre.

Here's Some Reviews for Your Eyeballs to Enjoy

Scream 4(2011) - 4/10 stars.
Scream 4 isn't quite as bad as the tragedy that was Scream 3 but that doesn't
mean it's anywhere close to being a good film.  Ultimately, its undoing is due
to the fact that it has become what the series originally lampooned.  Group that
with some gag-worthy acting, incorrect film references and predictable plot turns
and you have Scream 4.  I know, it sucks.

My Little Eye(2002) - 7/10 stars.
It's always comforting when a low budget film succeeds in doing what it set
out to do.  This can be said about Marc Evans' My Little Eye.  A film that
plays with the idea of a real snuff film.  It has plenty of flaws but there are
just enough scares and interesting shots to cancel most of them out.

Alice, Sweet Alice(1976) - 8/10 stars.

Before modern cinema overused the "evil child" subgenre, there were actually
several quality films on the subject.  Alice, Sweet Alice aka Communion is a 
great testimony to this.  It's low budget so it looks dirty and there are enough 
horrific scenes to keep you up for at least a few hours after you finish watching.
  

The Hitcher(2007) - 1/10 stars.
Despite how miserable Scream 4 was, it did make a very good point: "when
making a remake, never f*ck with the original."  Well friends, that's exactly
what this piss poor, botched attempt at a film does.  It think it's more hip
and edgy than the original but it falls flat in every area.  It's like watching
the Broadway musical version of High Fidelity on video tape.  Just see
the original, otherwise you're wasting your time.  

Rubber(2011) - 8/10 stars.
Low expectations usually lead to a very enjoyable viewing experience and that's
precisely what happened here.  Rubber is probably gonna be an acquired taste
for most but if you're a fan of David Lynch or Werner Herzog, it will be rather
easy to enjoy.  There's really not much else to say, you kind of just need to see it.

Per usual, I really appreciate you guys reading my silly ramblings about movies.  If you enjoy my reviews, please tell your friends to check them out and maybe even put a link up on Facebook.

I am still working on my review of The Night Gallery and after that I will do a full review of the 80's version of The Twilight Zone.

Thank you so much,
Ian C Dub

H.P. Lovecraft, Crazy Hobos, Demons, and Zombies, Oh My!

Re-Animator(1986) - 8/10 stars.
Stuart Gordon's first H.P. Lovecraft adaptation is arguably his best.  This is
a near perfect blend of horror and comedy that numerous films from today could
take a lesson from.  Jeffrey Combs is perfect in the role of Herbert West and for
the most part, all of the performances are spot on.  Any fan of 70's and 80's zombie
flicks will, without question, really enjoy enjoy this picture.

Bride of Re-Animator(1990) - 5/10 stars.
This, sadly, is a prime example as to why sequels are, so often, unnecessary.
There are definitely enjoyable moments and Jeffrey Combs shines in his role
once again.  However, once the credits begin to role, it feels like nothing but
a cheap knock off of the first film. 

Beyond Re-Animator(2003) - 3/10 stars.
Everything bad about Bride of Re-Animator is topped in ten fold by this mess.
The only, and I mean only, redeeming quality here is, again, Jeffrey Combs.
I swear, that guy could have made Spider Man 3 enjoyable.

From Beyond(1986) - 8/10 stars.
This was Stuart Gordon's second attempt at an H.P. Lovecraft story and though
many would say that it's his best, I think it's just as good as Re-Animator.  Jeffrey
Combs plays a very different character here and shows that he has a serious ability
to act as just about anything.  There's plenty of laughs but even more scares and
this has rightfully gone down as a classic in horror history.

Dinner for Schmucks(2010) - 3/10 stars.
Paul Rudd and Steve Carell should be ashamed of themselves for starring in
this catastrophic mess.  The story goes nowhere for about 90 minutes and at
that point, you'll be shaking your head, desperate for the final scene.  It's only
about an hour and fifty minutes but it feels over long.

Insidious(2011) - 9/10 stars.
Not that it has much competition, but this is 2011's best film thus far.  A very
good script mixed with some of the scariest visuals ever put to film will leave
you terrified.  It's definitely inspired by Poltergeist but fans of the original
Amityville Horror and The Shining will find plenty to love here.  Personally,
I think this is what horror should look like.  Finally, a film that relies on storyline.

Hobo With a Shotgun(2011) - 7/10 stars.
I was fortunate enough to receive an advanced copy of this film, but I found
myself to be a tad disappointed.  Don't get me wrong, there was plenty to love
about this film.  I guess I just wanted more.  But in all honesty, if you enjoy classic
grindhouse cinema with large amounts of unnecessary blood and cheesy lines,
you'll probably enjoy Hobo With a Shotgun.  You can wait for it to hit theaters in
May, or you can click the link below and watch it now!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004UP3D8M

Thank you for reading, as usual.  Check back soon for my full review of Rod Serling's Night Gallery.  Cheers!